Michael Irvin is not a good person. I find it funny how someone can be such a piece of human garbage, but get a pass because he cries during his Hall of Fame ceremony. I could go through all the bad stuff involving Michael Irvin, like sexual assault and drugs, but let's focus on him STABBING A TEAMMATE.

The year was 1998. Everett McIver, an offensive lineman was in the barber's chair to get his hair cut. Enter Michael Irvin, who also needed a haircut, and wasn't too happy about having to wait. Irvin proceeded to yell "Seniority!" four times, followed by "Punk get the f*** out of my chair!"

McIver had been in the league for five years already, and another offensive lineman said "You're no f***'ing rookie. He can't tell you what to do." To which McIver said "Damn right!" He then got up and shoved Irvin.

How did Irvin respond? He grabbed a pair of scissors and plunged them into McIver's neck, missing his carotid artery by just a couple inches.

In the end, McIver didn't press charges, but rumors have swirled that Irvin brokered a six-figure settlement to get McIver to drop the issue.

So, there you go. Happy 53rd Birthday Michael Irvin! You piece of trash.