They say baby monkeys only have two inborn fears: falling …and FREAKING SNAKES.

There’s a good reason many people have an innate fear of snakes. For thousands of generations our ancestors have learned that encounters with snakes can lead to certain death. If you go back in human’s family line far enough, when our ancestors were much smaller and some snakes were MUCH larger, you’ll see why it paid off to have a healthy, natural fear of snakes.

But, some people love snakes. Some consider it a hobby, others consider it a fascination. I consider it an evolutionary hiccup.

What the hell is going on here? That appears to be a small human child playing with a reticulated Burmese python. The comments on this video are turned off and probably for good reason so I’m not going to excoriate the parents. If I were to suggest that allowing a child to play with a huge snake was a bad decision, I can imagine the irate responses I would get from…ugh…”snake people”.

Save your digital breath if you we’re going to tell me…

“Our snakes are well-trained.”

“They’re just like the family dog or cat”

“We would NEVER do anything to endanger our kids.”

“ We keep our snakes properly secured and adequately fed”

“We’re right in the room when the snake is out with the kids. It’s not like we’re stupid!”

If you think those arguments hold water and you don’t want to reconsider the safety of having a big snake in your home, then you DEFINITELY DON’T want to watch this video.

And here’s a cautionary tale for all “snake people” everywhere.

 

My advice to snake people? Quit trying to be so weird. Or, if you HAVE to be weird, get a cat. At least you don’t have to pay for the mice your cat will eat.