Make Your Biking Commute a Big, Weird Adventure With This Pee-Wee Herman Skinsuit
Every spring, I get the big idea that I’m going to start bicycling to work. Sometimes I even do it for a week, and pretend that it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, and that everything has changed forever. On the first day that it rains/is too hot/I don’t feel like it leave me alone, that plan goes out the window. All that is about to change, once one of you sends this to me in the mail. COUGH IT UP cheapskate, I’m the one bringing you all the babes every day.
I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that this suit is a polyester fabric mix, which is presumably stifling and terrible, but I guess it makes it more authentic; I am sure Pee-Wee’s suit was polyester.
The skinsuit also includes a MAB™ Powerband Leg Gripper, which means absolutely nothing to me, since I don’t ride my bike, and an ‘Elite YKK Zipper!’ I have vague childhood memories about someone telling me that YKK was an evil zipper monopoly who regularly murdered their employees in the name of zipper totalitarianism, or something. It’s probable that most of that is false.
If you send this to me, I promise to either do my Pee-Wee Herman impression for you or never mention it ever again, depending on your preference! (It’s really good, FYI.)