There has been a metric poop ton of 3DS games and apps worth downloading, but the more you snatched up, the harder it became to access your stuff. The system’s aggravating interface lined up your games into a never-ending row of boxes, making it take forever to get to whatever you’re looking for. But, if you download the latest system update, you can finally reshape the menu.
If you’ve romped your way through all the entirety of the deviously challenging Portal 2 and are hungry for more, there’s no sense in waiting around for Valve to make another game. Starting May 8, you’ll be able to deal with your Portal-ual frustration the same way you do your sexual frustration — by taking matters into your own hands.
The fact that a game is great on a DS doesn’t mean its iOS port will be as impressive, or even playable. Some people yearn for Nintendo-sanctioned Mario Kart or Metroid to come to mobile, but that prospect sickens us. Some games just require buttons. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, though, is on the opposite end of the spectrum. It plays as though it was built from the ground up for iStuff.
Calvin Johnson did the impossible last season, racking up 1,681 yards, 16 touchdowns and the first playoff appearance for the Detroit Lions since leather helmets went out of style. His reward for those accomplishments is the devilish curse brought on by the Madden NFL cover. Ask Peyton Hillis how last year’s cover appearance worked out for him.
Ah, Japan. A land where sexual self-exploration and gaming go hand in… pants. The Senran Kagura franchise, in which you control big-boobed female ninjas who lose more clothing the more damage they take, embraces its dirtiness.
We like to knock EA Sports for releasing the same games year after year, so it’s only fair to give up some props when the developer recognizes a major problem and makes a wholesale change. While Cris Collinsworth and Gus Johnson are two of the best football broadcasters out there, they were boring and inconsistent in the recent Madden games.
Sony’s PlayStation Vita has struggled out of the gate, with slow sales and a sad little trickle of software to support it. The most telling sign of the device’s lack of popularity is you just don’t see it very often when you’re out and about. Those who’ve managed to wait a couple months to pick one up are in luck, with used copies dipping to as low as $162 at times.
When you’re playing the 3DS game Mario Kart 7 online, and a bunch of people vote for Wuhu Mountain Loop, you feel like the victims in ‘A Clockwork Orange’ when the Droogs start to surround them in a back alley. The track is plagued with an exploit that lets players jump off a cliff and skip half the course, screwing over anyone who plays fair.
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