Man Had His Junk Eaten By Wild Animals

Terry Thompson made international news last October when he released many of his 60-plus exotic animals from his private zoo in Zanesville, Ohio just prior to taking his own life with a gun. His alleged motive: his wife cheated on him.

Authorities were alerted to the situation when, you know, lions, tigers and bears (OH #%@!) were seen roaming free. Because of the danger posed by the animals, local officials had to act quickly and shoot-to-kill 50 of the beasts.

Thompson’s lifeless body was not left unscathed, as an article in the March issue of GQ explains.

“…By the time the body was recovered, no part of his external genitalia remained. Where they should have been, there was nothing but a raw gap….”

So, to recap:

Your bad day = a shaving cut, bumper-to-bumper traffic and locking your keys in your car at the bar.

His bad day = discovers his wife is cheating, releases wild animals, shoots self in head, has junk eaten by aforementioned animals, animals are shot and killed.

Wait, you might still have the edge, how long were you in traffic?

[Via GQ]