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You Know You’re From Abilene If…

FireShot capture #016 - 'City of Abilene, Texas' - www_abilenetx_com
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Regardless of where you live, you hear them all the time; those quirky sayings that poke fun at your hometown.  What makes them funny is that most of the time they are true.  So, I decided to throw together a list of these funny quirks about Abilene and West Texas.

When making this list, I had a little bit of help from our my coworkers here at Townsquare Media.

So, without further ado – You know you’re from Abilene if…


Frank Pain

  1. You know what a “gut bomb” from Allsup’s is.
  2. The doctor prescribes you allergy medication, regardless of your symptoms.
  3. You knew who Terry Berry was.
  4. You know what the “holy dome” is.
  5. You use more than one church as a points of reference when giving someone directions.
  6. You save up all year just so you can drop your kids off at the West Texas Fair so you can go to out drinking.
  7. You got into a fight over the Crosstown Showdown.
  8. You consider 60 mph winds a “slightly breezy day”.
  9. You’ve seen Frank Pain’s face tattooed on someone’s butt.
Pain-Butt-Tattoo
Photo by: Frank Pain

Chaz McguirE

  1. You know what “frontiering” is. (Actually, what the heck is “frontiering”?)
  2. You’re afraid to drive after a good rain because of the street flooding.
  3. You think Ranch is its own food group.
  4. You refer to the airplanes at Abilene Regional Airport as “puddle jumpers”.
  5. You think the only seasons are hot, damn hot, and winter.
  6. You have to stop for the train at least 3 times in one day.
  7. You remember drag racing over by Bandera.
  8. You know the whole town shuts down for the Abilene High and Cooper Crosstown Showdown and you either go to the game, or you throw a huge party because you know most of the cops are working the game.
Abilene High-Cooper
Facebook

Shay Hill

  1. Your first date is to go see the Anson Lights.
  2. You wear a sweater in the morning and a bikini in the afternoon.
  3. You walk outside and taste dirt.
  4. The bars close at midnight and everywhere else they close at 2am.
  5. There’s a church and a convenience store on every corner of town.
  6. It rains all around you but not on you.
  7. You plan your vacation around when Kevin Fowler is playing in town.
  8. You do outside activities in winter months and stay indoors in summer months.
  9. Your date asks if you’ve ever been cow tipppin’.
cow-tipping
Flickr user cw3283

Randy Jones

  1. You know the employees’ names at Walmart.
  2. You have to wait in line for a burrito at La Popular.
  3. Everyone at your house has a ‘concealed carry’ license.
  4. Your shopping list always includes ‘fire ant killer’.
  5. The 5 o’clock rush hour lasts 15 minutes.
  6. You have a cookout three times a week.
  7. You look up and nine times out of ten see a B-1 Bomber from Dyess overhead.
b-1-bomber-dyess screenshot
dyess.af.mil

Rudy Fernandez

1.  You’ve had several friends move off and move back within a couple of months. (The black hole.)
2.  You’re thankful for a rain shower cause it cleaned all the bird poop off the pick-up truck.
3.  You’re at a stop light and you know the people in the car next to you and the church they go to.
4.  Not a week goes by that someone doesn’t ask you “Where do y’all go to church?”.
5.  You’re in the liquor store, you pray to God that you DON’T run into anyone from your “Life Group.”
6.  You’re with your “Life Group” and you tell’em, “the Smiths ain’t there cause you saw them coming out of the liquor store last night”.
7.  You go to the Abilene vs. Cooper game & it doesn’t matter which side you sit on cause you went to one and your wife went to another.
8.  You know all the drink specials for everyday of the week at all the bars.
9.  You have friends that are putting on their own fireworks at their house and you contribute to the fireworks.
10. You’ve ever ridden a four wheeler with a weed sprayer putting out small grass fires.
11.  You’ve driven down the Winters freeway doing 90 with you flashers going cause you’re going to a grass fire.
12.  You and/or all your best friends belong to a Volunteer fire department.
13.  You’ve told someone from out of town that Hooters can’t come here cause ACU owns the franchise.
14.  You know when and where to get “Aggie Fries.”
15.  You take a camera to the World of Wheels and get pictures of your neighbors car.
16.  You believed Frank Pain was telling the truth about Hooters coming to Abilene on April first.

hooters-girls
Astrid Stawiarz, Getty Images


Again, these are all funny, but true, facts about living in Abilene and West Texas.

Check out what some of our listeners said about Abilene on our Facebook page.

If you have some more, feel free to leave your comments below.

Happy Frontiering!

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