Name: Roberta — AKA Rubberta.

Occupation: Taste tester on Pa’s farm and licensed notary public.

Interests: Big wheeling, Michelin tires, NASCAR, Lynyrd Skynyrd, swamp rock, racism and solving ’48 Hours Mystery’ programs before the show is over (currently 0-54).

Hobbies: Huntin’, fishin’, spittin’, tobacco chewin’, tractor ridin’, shootin’ and any activity that ends in -ing that I can make n’.

5 Things I Can’t Live Without: Skoal, Coors Light cold indicators, ‘Joe Dirt’ on VHS, roadkill soup, and pig Racin’.

Into: Cow tipping.

Not into: Picking the cows back up.

I spend most of my free time: Reading Vonnegut or shaving only my left arm pit.

The First Thing People Notice About Me: If it’s not me riding up on my 1925 John Deere than I guess I’d have to say the little pieces of gravel between my teeth. Gotta floss!

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.