I grabbed myself a couple of jugs of "artificially sweetened sweet tea" today and it was NOT good. I used most of these descriptions on air, but I still can't get the taste out of my mouth.

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You ever get something on your hands that smells kind of bad, but you keep smelling it because you can't quite figure it out? Well this was like that. I don't know if the tea was rancid or what but it had a hard water/mechanical taste to it. Here's my five best tries at describing the taste.

  • 1

    Like a hobo washed his fingers in it.

  • 2

    Like a Transformers piss.

  • 3

    Like licking the door of an outhouse.

  • 4

    Like someone dropped a set of car keys in a bucket of spit.

  • 5

    Like a razor that had been used to circumcise a skunk.

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