11 Awesome Toys from the 90s That We Really Miss
Remember toys? We’re not talking about phones, music players or other electronics. We’re talking about actual toys. When we were kids they were colorful, made of plastic, sometimes had built-in sound effects and always provided an awesome time. Here are 11 awesome toys from the 1990’s we wish we could play with right now.
Despite its slightly rank odor, the mildly unpleasant squelching noise and the leftover film of sticky residue, we’d still love to get our hands on some Nickelodeon Gak. The same goes for Floam, which was for the more discerning 9-year-old as it could be molded into something that resembled art, rather than be made to produce damp fart noises.
If you were an overactive, borderline ADHD kid, this was the perfect way to get wild with some innocent violence without actually causing any lasting brain damage in your opponents. No instructions, no objectives, just a ton punching other people. It’s like a pillow fight, except the pillows are filled with fists.
The directions for this toy read more like sex instructions for a pent-up 18-year-old virgin than a children’s toy, but that’s okay, we’ll roll with it. This was a lot of fun to play with as you furiously tweaked, poked and spanked your Bop-It apparatus until you were utterly spent.
If the way we took care of our Tamagotchi’s were any indication of how we will take care of our children later in life, then God help us all, because this does not bode well for the continuation of our species. Sometimes you’d neglect your Tamagotchi and it would starve, others times you’d overfeed it and then it would poop itself and die. Either way, child-rearing is going to take slightly more finesse.
Yes, the sentiment “Wetter is Better” used to have innocent connotations. Year after year, new Super Soakers”would come out with better high-velocity spray devices, more vibrant colors and of course, increased capacity. By the end of the 90’s these were so powerful, they could be used for crowd control.
Remember when laser tag was something we did in our backyard, instead of just at the local laser tag arena? We’d suit up, turn on our guns and vests and venture out to test our wits and reflexes against our friends. And of course, if you had a mind to cheat you could just hold your hand over the sensor; laser tag trolling at its best.
The boy’s answer to Polly Pocket, Mighty Max was like a video game in plastic form. Though Max was a totally inconsequential character, his highly detailed environments were a pleasure to play in. Using the freedom of imagination, you’d unravel dangerous traps, fight wild creatures and avoid environmental hazards with no particular goal except to be mighty.
Skip-it was a fun game in which you’d skip, avoiding a plastic ball at the end of a long rod that was attached to your ankle, racking up your skips to try and beat your friend’s records. No other toy from the 90’s contributed to so many bruised ankles.
Mr. Bucket had that commercial where it bragged about all the balls that came flying out of his mouth? Awkward. But still, this was a seriously fun time as you ran around like a maniac scooping up colored balls and dumping them into his head, just so the ungrateful bastard could spit them out again.
Fact: no one knows how to actually play the game these were meant to be the pieces for. Fact: everyone loved these because the art was so cool and they were super fun to collect. We still have a Pog board with amazing artwork depicting a sun and moon (and the moon has sunglasses on…ironic!), because even as adults we find it awesome. The Pogs, however, are all gone, which is too bad because altogether they’re probably worth at least $.60 now.
Stretch Armstrong’s corn-syrup filled body could be manipulated into any position and was even fun to whack your little brother on the head with, without the chance of giving him a full-on concussion. But if Stretch Armstrong was punctured, even the tiniest little hole spelled the end of your fun as his syrupy insides leaked out until he was completely empty. Also, gotta give an honorable mention to Vac Man, Stretch Armstrong’s awesome nemesis.