Tommy Lee Just Wrote the Funniest G—D—Rant I’ve Ever Read

Yes. Tommy Lee. THAT Tommy Lee. I had no…idea…that the drummer from Motely Crue was so freaking funny! I never thought I would compare Tommy Lee to Jonathan Swift but this is the modern Twitter version of A Modest Proposal.

This is…literature, frankly. I think my favorite part is the definition of a McPence sandwich: “a boiled unseasoned chicken breast that you have to eat in the closet with your mother”. That is gold! I may learn someday that this brilliant piece of comedy was ghost-written for Tommy by Seanbaby until that day I am a Tommy Lee, the humorist, fan. I was already a Tommy Lee, the drummer, fan AND a Tommy Lee, The Amateur Porn Star, Fan. But this is just…It’s hard for me to express in words right now.

Of course, the practical result of this may be that it inspires Trump supporters to extra EXTRA vote for him in 2020 because they notoriously don’t get humor. If they did they’d realize the past 2 ½ years have been a cruel cosmic joke by some Lovecraftian trickster god.

God bless you, Tommy Lee. I love you.