The Worst Things Ever Done With Bacon

I love bacon. I love the smell of bacon...by itself or as part of an edible dish. While bacon-scented deodorant is unique, there's no way I'd wear because all it would do is make me hungry for bacon all damn day.

My focus would be on bacon, instead of work. Then I'd get fired and be on the streets.

Bacon deodorant is bad because I like my job.

Bacon soap and bacon deodorant have the same affect on me. Smelling like bacon will be the cause of my unemployment.

My family depends on me to not smell like bacon.

While the bacon mints would have the same impact as the bacon soap and deodorant, it would have additional ramifications.

Anytime I eat bacon, I turn in to a ravenous beast that must eat all the bacon in sight. With the taste of bacon in my mouth, I will turn into said ravenous beast and eat all the bacon mints in one sitting, then possibly steal all of my friend's bacon just to satisfy my appetite for bacon.

In this instance, not only could I lose my job, but I could also lose all of my friends.

I think this is self-explanatory. Where there's the smell of bacon, teeth are soon to follow.

You might be thinking that this is like my issue with bacon mints...and you're somewhat correct. However, the only flavor of toothpaste I can handle is mint.

Anything else and I don't feel like I brushed my teeth good enough.