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The Worst Things Ever Done With Bacon

I think we can all agree that bacon is, just about, the greatest thing ever. However, there are some instances where bacon should be left out of the equation.

So, that got me thinking about other uses of bacon that are absolutely uncalled-for and should be filed in the WTF folder



Bacon Deodorant



I love bacon. I love the smell of bacon…by itself or as part of an edible dish. While bacon-scented deodorant is unique, there’s no way I’d wear because all it would do is make me hungry for bacon all damn day.

My focus would be on bacon, instead of work. Then I’d get fired and be on the streets.

Bacon deodorant is bad because I like my job.



Bacon Soap



Bacon soap and bacon deodorant have the same affect on me. Smelling like bacon will be the cause of my unemployment.

My family depends on me to not smell like bacon.




Bacon Mints



While the bacon mints would have the same impact as the bacon soap and deodorant, it would have additional ramifications.

Anytime I eat bacon, I turn in to a ravenous beast that must eat all the bacon in sight. With the taste of bacon in my mouth, I will turn into said ravenous beast and eat all the bacon mints in one sitting, then possibly steal all of my friend’s bacon just to satisfy my appetite for bacon.

In this instance, not only could I lose my job, but I could also lose all of my friends.



Bacon Condoms



I think this is self-explanatory. Where there’s the smell of bacon, teeth are soon to follow.



Bacon Toothpaste



You might be thinking that this is like my issue with bacon mints…and you’re somewhat correct. However, the only flavor of toothpaste I can handle is mint.

Anything else and I don’t feel like I brushed my teeth good enough.


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