The PunNews: America’s Cheese Surplus Crisis

America has a surplus of cheese. No, seriously. It’s a problem. If you want to know all the facts, read this article from the Wall Street Journal. If you just want to hear some awful puns, read on…

The Great American Cheese Surplus started out as a mild problem but it will take some sharp minds to figure out what to do. We have over a billion pounds of excess cheese sitting in storage and it could be a muenster sized problem. I’m feta up! Maybe it would be a gouda idea if we broke into the cheese vaults and edam all up.

Of course, if you did that it would be stealing because that’s nacho cheese. Besides, if we actually did storm the cheese reserves it would be a real mess. De brie would be everywhere.

I know some people who are eating less cheese. Because they want to cheddar few pounds. That’s not helping, people! We need to be eating MORE cheese. Do it for the old red, white and bleu!

I happen to be very fondue cheese, so it’ll be no problem to do my part. I hope to provolone citizen can do his part by eating ten pounds of cheese. I may even have a block party so my neighbors can help. If I can do it in my ‘burgh, ya’ll should be able to do it in jarlsburg.

We need to all do our part, no matter where we’re from…from Philly all the way to Monterey, Jack!

In queso trouble, we should really have a national strategy. It is an election year and the cheese surplus could be a real wedge issue. Donald Trump wants to be the next big Cheese. I hear he plans to make pre-shredded cheese illegal. He’s always talking about how he wants to make America grate again.