'Dead Man Down,' a tiresome, predictable slog through every “in too deep” crime story cliché you've ever seen has as much subtlety as the average Face or Heel shouting into the mic during a Monday Night Raw. This is a dull movie that only perks up when it veers into the laughable, as when Noomi Rapace's character intentionally spikes Colin Farrell's character's two-years-in-the-making vengeance plot because she “had a moment,” but then bounces back into plan five minutes later anyway. Yes, I'm getting ahead of myself.

"How was the movie?" she asked as she flopped down on the couch and flipped on the television.

"Good. Really good," Matt replied. "Interesting."

"Interesting? Why interesting?" Melissa said. She started flipping channels.

"It's about a writer who writes himself into his work. Colin Farrell plays this struggling screenwriter named Martin -- and the movie was written and directed by this guy, Martin McDonagh, who wrote that play we saw on Broadway with Christopher Walken in it."

"Right. That was weird."

"It was," he said, nodding. "Weird but good. So, anyway, Colin Farrell plays this writer named Martin. He's come up with a title he really likes for a screenplay -- 'Seven Psychopaths.' But that's all he has, the title. He doesn't even have the seven psychopaths. But then these people in his life -- or perhaps these characters he's invented -- are all revealed to be psychopaths, and he gets caught in the middle of this elaborate gangster-slash-revenge comedy with them involving a kidnapped dog."

Melissa yawned again. "A writer writing himself into his work? That sounds like a terrible idea." 

Sure, he’s pulled his fair share of stunts in the past (lest we forget this travesty), but the 35-year-old hunk from Ireland is the type who could do a bad thing one day, then make up for it the next day with a simple wink and a smile.

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