I recently broke a tooth and had to go to the dentist to get it fixed. In fact, Frank Pain actually recorded my return to work where I couldn't talk very well at all. Anyway, while at the dentist, the radio station that the office had on, like most doctor's offices, only played cheesy Top 40 songs that made me cringe almost as much as the needles being jammed into my gum line. So, I thought I would come up with a list of songs that can relate to dentistry, and that I would rather hear than than the stuff they had on. Here is my top 10 in no particular order.

Dokken 'Tooth and Nail

Rockin' with Dokken is even cooler in the dentist chair. The song, obviously, does not have anything to do with dentistry, but it does have the word 'tooth' in the title, plus, the song just rocks.  The only problem would be if the dentist decided to pull out his 80's air guitar and forgot all about you while your grill is getting all jacked up.


Megadeth 'Sweating Bullets'

I've mentioned before, about my fear of needles. So, when the dentist pulled out this needle that looked like you could use for a shish kabob, I was slightly nervous. Needles suck - unless you're getting a tattoo.


Papa Roach 'Kick in the Teeth'

Yep, if you ever wondered what it feels like to get a 'deep clean' on your teeth, the title to this song says it all.


Nine Inch Nails 'The Perfect Drug'

In this case, the perfect drug is Nitrous Oxide. Yep, they gassed me up pretty good, which was perfect since I was about to get a needle jammed into my gums.


Marilyn Manson 'The Beautiful People'

After getting gassed (Nitrous Oxide) as I mentioned above, I apparently thought everybody and everything was beautiful.  I kept telling them "That picture you guys have on the ceiling is so beautiful and cool!"  I was only going to get my top right teeth deep cleaned, but the dentist talked me into getting the bottom and the top done because I thought everything was just cool, man. I also remember telling everybody "tequila shots are on me!"


Slipknot 'Spit it Out'

The words echo in my brain, "now rinse and spit....rinse and spit". I can't tell you how many times I had to rinse and spit. There seems to be a lot of debri and blood built up in your mouth when you go to the dentist for some work. Gross, but true.


Sixx A.M. 'This is Gonna Hurt'

Tell me about it.  I mean it didn't hurt so much during the process, with exception to the giant needle that was shoved into my gums - multiple times, but it hurt like hell after the meds wore off.  I've had hangovers that didn't require as much Tylenol as I took.  Hell, I broke my wrist and it didn't hurt like that.  Going to the dentist sucks.

 


Metallica '(Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth'

This famous bass solo from the late, great Cliff Burton was in my head the whole time I was in the death..I mean dentist chair. There are no lyrics, and I didn't actually have teeth pulled, but I think it's close enough to relate. I mean it felt like I was getting teeth pulled, especially when they were measuring my "bone loss" with this sharp instrument that I like to call "the devils tool".


AC/DC 'Have a Drink on Me'

I think every trip to the dentist should be capped off with a nice cold one or a shot - or both. Come to think of it, maybe before and after the visit? Yeah, that sounds good to me.


Pantera 'Mouth for War'

OK, I originally said that this list is in no particular order. I lied. This song would top my list and they could play it over and over. This song is so brutal and intense, that I might do the work on my teeth myself. Then again, another fear of mine is being toothless.


So, that is my list of songs I would rather listen to at the dentist office than the crap they play now. What songs would be on your list?

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