Federal Worker Formally Reprimanded For Flatulence
An unnamed Federal worker has been making a stink at work. Now the man’s flatulence is part of a five-page official reprimand that details his long history of offensive odor.
The gassy 38-year old is employed by the Social Security Administration in Baltimore, where, according to the reprimand, he has created a “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers. The report included 60 specific times the man broke wind, including the nine times he broke wind between 9:45 and 4:30 on September 19 of this year.
He was told at least three times by supervisors that this farting around had to stop. The man was able to provide evidence that he suffered from certain flatulence-promoting medical conditions, but it was felt that he still wasn’t being mindful enough of his fellow employees’ air quality.
Among suggestions from supervisors (which the man apparently didn’t heed): getting Gas-X, and “making it to the bathroom before releasing the awful and unpleasant odor.” It was also mentioned that the idea of using a fan to blow away the foul smell was nixed, out of fear that it could just make the problem worse.
The official reprimand will sit in the man’s personal files for a year. It carries with it no further formal sanction, but is used to impress upon the offender the seriousness of his misconduct.
You can read the entire, extremely detailed reprimand here. Yes folks, these are your tax dollars at work.