Don't mess with Conan O'Brien's masturbating bear. Just don't, it's the wrong thing to do. The host of 'Conan' has long featured the bear on his various late-night shows, and he is a truly beloved member of the O'Brien family, which is what makes Stephen Colbert's recent claim that his show was the first to feature a bear touching himself on air so truly egregious. It's just wrong, Colbert! And Conan is not happy with you!