How To Survive Thanksgiving With Comedian Jubal Flagg
Some people hate Thanksgiving — from the overeating to the family functions, many people just can’t wait for the whole day to end. Comedian Jubal Flagg isn’t a big fan of Turkey day. He is a big fan of the McRib though. It’s just one of the talking points on his new comedy album Parlor Tricks available on Amazon and iTunes from New Wave Dynamics.
Jubal is a stand-up comedian and comedy writer currently living in Seattle, Washington. He has performed with some of the biggest names in the business including: Dave Chappelle, Joey Medina and Mike Epps. Jubal can be heard every morning on Seattle radio as the co-host of Movin 92.5‘s “Brook & Jubal in the Morning.“
We asked Jubal all about Thanksgiving and a couple other holiday traditions.
GuySpeed: Where does Thanksgiving rank in order of “good holidays?”
Toward the bottom. Thanksgiving has never been a huge favorite of mine. Other than food it doesn’t offer much. On Halloween you get girls dressing like sluts, on Christmas you get presents, on Thanksgiving you just get fat. Plus everyone except me in my family is vegetarian so it’s hard to get excited about Tofurkey.
GuySpeed: Is it just us or does the word “yams” sound perverted?
Yes it does. I’m just trying to decide what part of the human anatomy it best describes. I suppose the next time I’m in bed with a lady I’ll ask her to “pay special attention to my yams” and see what happens.
GuySpeed: Do you think the pilgrims melted marshmallows on their sweet potatoes or just us fat Americans of today?
I’d like to think that Americans have always been fat and lazy so I’m going to say yes, even though they probably didn’t.
GuySpeed: If you could choose a new balloon for the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, what would it be?
Nancy Grace’s nipple.
GuySpeed: Can you ever remember saying “holy crap I can’t wait to watch the Lions game on Thanksgiving!”
Yes, when Barry Sanders was on the team. I loved him, he gave little guys like me hope. I might not watch this year though . . . mostly because Nickelback is performing at halftime.
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GuySpeed: Is Thanksgiving dinner a good place to bring a date?
NO. Any holiday for that matter is a horrible place to bring a date. Introducing a girl to your family usually makes them think you really like them and want to have a lasting relationship with them. Silly girls.
GuySpeed: Let’s go to the Wikipedia page for Thanksgiving and add our own “facts” about the holiday. What lie would you want to add to the page?
The original Thanksgiving dinner was cut short after an awkward moment in which one of the colonists got a little tipsy and “outed” his brother.