Name: Sassy Stanley

Occupation: Former aerobics instructor (forced into retirement) / current Jeff Bridges impersonator.

Interests: Retro clothing, Lebowski Fest, REO Speedwagon, sidewalk yoga, wedgies and Jazzercise.

Hobbies: Stretching, shopping, bulge rearranging, and walking because for some reason I never get picked up while hitchhiking.

5 Things I Can’t Live Without: My shoulder bag, my face rug, constant honks from passersby, jealous faces and the knowledge that I am Gandalf!

Into: Anything that holds my “boys” in place.

Not Into: Genital relaxation — aka boxers.

I Spend Most of My Free Time: Being sexy.


HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.