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Suicide Girl of the Day

Suicide Girl of the Day

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Yesenia Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Today’s SuicideGirl is Yesenia, a 27-year-old from Florida who gets hot when she sees a guy with messy hair and calls Larry David a personal hero. Pretttty, pretty good.

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Charmaine Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Today’s SuicideGirl, Charmaine Suicide, grew up in Austin, TX, where she impressed the local boys so much, her dad had to bolt down her bedroom window to keep them from crawling in at night. For real.

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Ingenting Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet Ingenting — a 22-year-old Swedish college student who is turned on by guys who can cook. Does meth count? Paging Jesse Pinkman!

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Ackley Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

We first featured Ackley, a 26-year-old “certified hustler” from Cali via Nebraska. Ackley appeared in November 2011, then again with her butt buddy Damsel in early June. She’s back to remind us to fight for animal rights and to slap the bass. Drop the ‘b’ and we’re talkin’.

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Rhue — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet Rhue — a 24-year-old Canadian who’s into underwater creatures but NOT Nic Cage. GASP! She must’ve hated this job application.

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LayTee Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet LayTee — a 21-year-old tattoo artist and model originally from southern Kentucky who now lives in California. She’s into 1970s Saturday Night Live, sketching and ‘handy men surprises.’ We suggest showing up to her place wearing one of these.

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Radeo Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

We featured Radeo — a 23-year-old SuicideGirl who’s from Irvington, Indiana but now lives in Ohio – back in November 2011. She’s back and she’s… Batman. We’ve heard she’s got one helluva bat cave.

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Kentessa — Today’s SuicideGirl

We featured Kentessa back in early March — now the 20 year old production assistant from Dallas is back to let us know that she likes to be in charge, but also likes it when the man takes control. Since her fantasy is school-themed, we order her to come to our office IMMEDIATELY following class.

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Lawita Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet Lawita — a 20-year-old vegan from Buenos Aires, Argentina who’s into ‘necking’, video games, and movies starring Al Pacino and Arnold Schwarzenegger. We have a feeling she’ll be a big fan of the Al Pacino and Arnold Schwarzenegger prank call (NSFW). What if they squared off?

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Waikiki Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet Waikiki — a 32-year-old ‘squatter’ from Italy who’s into black skin, pole dancing, and the pineapple position. She’s like the real life Marla from Fight Club.

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Shipwreck Suicide — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet Shipwreck — a 20-year-old ‘hussy’ from the Windy City who’s into mustaches, Johnny Walker, and jokes about her service with GI Joe. After your ‘Rise of My Cobra’ line, you should expect full ‘Retaliation.’ Make sure you lose the ensuing fight – she loves being on top.

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Vana — Today’s SuicideGirl

Meet Vana — a 23-year-old Canadian artist who’d rather go naked than wear fur, and is into teasing. Okay. Nice cape, Vana! You owe us a shower curtain!

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