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Candy Corn White Chocolate M&M’s Are A Vile Affront To God And Man

Any decent human being should avoid putting Candy Corn White Chocolate M&M’s in their treat holes.I put a handful of these in my face and instantly vomited in my mouth.  Actually I didn’t vomit in my mouth, it just tasted like it.  Well, that’s not accurate. The taste was more like soap mixed with orange mixed with the smell of fear.

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I imagine this candy tastes like witch panties.  This candy is made from the tears of children who don’t get to go trick or treating. If Willy Wonka made these, he’d drown himself in his chocolate lake or purposely fly into the blades in the fizzy lifting drink chamber.

How could something so good as M&M’s go so wrong?  If you want to make a Halloween candy, just change the colors and make black and orange M&M’s, don’t sell these nuggets of candy coated awfulness. I suppose you could make a worse candy but it would take years of torture and chemicals not yet discovered.  Anyone who gives these away as trick or treat candy needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

After eating these I had to scrub my mouth out with a chunk of steel wool and some Ajax. Still the taste lingers like the smell of your boss when you visit the restroom at work.  This is the taste you have in your mouth when your dreams die. They may “melt in your mouth and not in your hands”, but they’d be better melting in the pits of hell.

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