Unabashed lover of large breasts, pornography, foul mouths, and loud music. Childhood diagnosis of Oppositional Defiant Disorder is possibly related to current position as Associate Editor and only female employee at GuySpeed.
So I broke it off with someone I really liked a lot three days ago, and then immediately got the flu. I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone. I mean, Happy Valentine's Day! Let me tell you about the weird dream I had last night!
Call your girlfriend, it's time you had the talk. She will never be as awesome as this weird Swedish dancing alien nymph who somehow pulls off a blonde bowl cut, and it's not fair for you to know that and continue this charade.
Life advice: Don't drunkenly text a picture like this to your neighbor with some slightly-misspelled version of "I made a bedsheet tent, are you still awake?" unless you love opening big, awkward cans of worms. In other news: I'm thinking about installing a breathalyzer on my phone.
Even though my complete lack of self-control dictates that any museum trip I go on in Amsterdam be "sponsored" by legal marijuana (which would make The The Museum of Medieval Torture Instruments (MMTI) infinitely more terrifying) I'm still excited to visit.
Remember when we used to make fun of Canadians? We'd laugh and laugh about how silly it was to live in the tundra, and how they had funny accents and rode caribou and stuff. Then they got universal health care, and we all sort of shut up. Well, they also have a Star Trek Museum in a town called Vulcan. We're looking dumber by the day.
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