It's Valentine's Day, and we all know what that means. #CandyHeartsRejects is trending on Twitter, again. At this point it's basically a Valentine's tradition, like buying chocolates or getting into a blackout fight.
Remember when Valentine's Day was awesome? You spent all day gluing construction paper to a shoe box, for the sole purpose of having people stuff it with cheap candy and cards from the pharmacy. Now it's just Someecards on Facebook and the orange creams are all that's left in the Whitman's sampler in the office kitchen.
Here are some of those cards you maybe used to get in your shoebox, if the teacher was too depressed to make you make your own Valentines. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being sad, alone and pathetic is sort of a specialty of mine. To give you an idea, I've definitely been humiliated by an airbrush artist at an amusement park, which I was visiting without any friends. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I've basically mastered the art of being totally miserable. Feel free to join me, but it's going to be a pretty rough night. Let's get started, shall we?
Say what you want to about Valentine's Day, it is an excuse to buy a three pound box of chocolates and a double-sized bottle of white wine and not have to share it with anybody. But what to do while you're picking through your Whitman's
According to these guys, this is the very last Harlem Shake video ever. According to us, when did anybody on the internet ever listen to anybody else? Still, it is a suitably (NSFW) violent ending to something that has been annoying us basically since the first time we saw it.
It's everybody's favorite hero hitchhiker Kai, the hatchet-wielding head smasher! Only this time instead of smashing skulls, he's playing a guitar, which is significantly less terrifying, but equally entertaining, it turns out.
Amazing and talented animator/motion graphics artist Michelle Enemark made these 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' valentines for her husband. Fortunately, in addition to being amazing and talented, she is also really sweet and said we could share them with you.
If you look at the internet at all, you've probably noticed a sudden proliferation of Harlem Shake videos. Why, you might be asking, are all these people wearing horse head masks and throwing themselves around shabby dorm rooms? It's a fair question, and one we'd like to answer for you. This is your essential guide to the Harlem Shake.
There's something special about Florida. Not the Keys or the Everglades. Really it's the propensity for weird news that gets us. Strange things are always happening down there. If you're familiar with the bizarre state, @_FloridaMan on Twitter will delight you.
We aren't sure what the best part of this video is. Is it when the monkey tries to eat the bird's head? Is it when the turtle bites the puppy's tongue? Is it when we got to write those two sentences because of this video? It's hard to say
That Harlem Shake thing is really catching on. We hope it's the next 'Gangnam Style,' although that's mostly because these videos are only 30 seconds long. This version of the Harlem Shake features actual firemen in a fire truck. The thing we're left wondering though is
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