15 Suggested Titles for the Inevitable Movie About the Oklahoma Granny Drug Kingpin

Police in Oklahoma arrested a 73-year-old woman named Darlene Mayes who investigators described as one of the biggest marijuana kingpins in the state with a massive network of dealers spanning four states and control of 40 percent of the pot sold in the area.

Her story is bound to spawn at least one big screen remake starring (we hope) Betty White as this septuagenarian Scarface. Here are some suggestions for some titles that are so eye-catching, even a 90-year-old glaucoma sufferer would notice it.

1. ‘On Golden Bong’

2. ‘The Sunshine Daydream Boys’

3. ‘About Sh**’

4. ‘The Acapulco Golden Girls’

5. ‘Dr. Strangeleaf or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Sell Stuff That’s the Bomb’

6. ‘Driving Miss Daisy…to the 7-11 for a Munchie Run’

7. ‘Buddha Ho-Tep’

8. ‘(Getting) Fried (Off of) Green “Tomatoes’

9. ‘The Hudsmoker Proxy’

10. ‘A Fish Called Ganja’

11. ‘Harold and Maude and Cheech and Chong’

12. ‘Dude, Where’s My Medicare?’

13. ‘There Will Be Blunts’

14. ‘Night of the Grateful Dead’

15. ‘O Brother, Where Art Thou’s Cheetos?’