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10 Jokes About the Rapture

Spencer Platt, Getty Images

So, the rapture is coming. Again. Yup, Harold Camping — the preacher whose prediction the world would end this past May 21 — now says the apocalypse is set for Friday, October 21.

So, make sure your checkbook is balanced, you’ve turned off all the lights and filled your dog’s bowl with water. But, if we’re going to leave this world, why not leave with a smile, right? Here are 10 jokes about the rapture. Think you’ve got good ones? We’d love to read them, so feel free to include yours below.

1. Good news for Lindsay Lohan. It looks like she won’t be in jail for long.

2. I guess Gadhafi just wanted to get a jump on the line in hell.

3. It’s on a Friday? But I have plans to see ‘Paranormal Activity 3′ this weekend!

4. Well, that should put an end to all this Occupy Wall Street madness.

5. All those people claiming we need to stop global warming were worried for nothing.

6. Couldn’t this wait until Monday? I don’t want to have to work an entire week, only to have the world end before I can go out for a few drinks.

7. I’m cool with this. Whatever it takes to get ‘Whitney’ off the air.

8. Even the locusts who are supposed to descend on the Earth aren’t buying the hype again that the rapture is coming.

9. The world is ending? Apple introduced its iPhone 4S just in the nick of time.

10. Harold Camping wrongly predicted the end of the world on two previous occasions, claiming his calculations were off. Let’s hope for his sake someone else does his taxes.


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